with: brennan olver, lei lei kung, sarah mccauley, campbell rothnie, romy fox performed live on the 21st of october at lebowskis
A tiny black paw swipes up and down the screen scanning the endless list of faces, torsos and blank display pictures. Perhaps it was the hang over or just sunday afternoon boredom. Everything In olivine City is shut on a sunday anyway. Just as Pichu puts the phone down on the lapras shell bedside table the phone alerts Pichu to a new message. The profile name reads (crown emoji) Kooper4younger, with no display picture. The message just reads Hi mate how are you. Pichu being as shy as he is isn’t very adventures on these dating apps and has a basic policy of no face pic no chat although that sentiment is as much a defence mechanism he picked up to contrast his reservation and sexual repression. Still he was bored and no ones else was messaging, and if anything he made the first move Pichu was in control. HE replied “good how are you?
Moments pass pichu rests the tablet to his side again tossing back and forth as if to cure his hangover using the buoyancy of Roll Out. The phone chimes again, good mate what are you up to?
That was it Pichu thought, this guy must be dumb as the tusks on a Donfan. Still Pichu is bored alone and feeling a bit electric in his cheek pushes, “just rolling around in bed hung over” Hoping that the consequence of Pichus party lifestyle will sniff out any conservative remarks from this older guy and put an end to Pichu’s curiosity. Pichu’s attempt to sabotage the conversation momentarily fails. Kooper4younger replays “ hahaha big night mousey?”
Pichu replays quickly and utterly sincerely this time “haha sorta bunch of us took the train from Kanto last night al the way to Celedon wasn’t bad”
Kooper4younger replies “not bad Mousey, I used to club when I was your age would kill me now” There was something irritating Pichu about the how dull the conversation was going, he was far to dull for man only 43 he wasn’t that old even for fichu at 19. Pichu left the conversation there for a moment before the phone went off again. “anymore pics mousey” that’s rich pichu thought coming from this guy who didn’t even have a display picture yet asking Pichu for more. Pichu had a few decent nudes on his phone but he was hardly ready to just sell him self that cheap.
“you first” Pichu replied “send a face pic?”
“no face now mousey in time”
“I’m not sending you anything unless you send me a pic first” Pichu replied.
A moment passes long enough for pichu to feel the hang over throbbing in his tall ears.
a phone alert reads Kooper4younger sent a picture message.
The pic was off a large coopers belly in yellow shell coloured underwear laying on a banana lounge with his legs and feet stretched out. Quickly followed by an upward shot of his torso in the same underwear in front of a fancy hotel mirror with his head cropped.
pichu felt a lil ashamed that the pics initially made his tail perk up, he had a penchant for daddy types in his heart but had only made it a few times with creatures his own age at hipster gatherings and some not so memorable one night stands at the Lure Ball Disco.
Kooper4younger “how about now”
Pichu made a jolt reaction and quick attacks the attachment icon and sends a subtle mirror selfie in his charizrd onsie, feeling guilty straight away more so to the fact he was covered up in the image then anything he sends an artful nude of him in bed with his bottom half covered by a sheet.
Kooper4younger “mmm” Pichu had to admit to him self that this conversation was about more then his boredom or his ego, this guy was serious but pichu wasn’t sure he was up the challenge or at least didn’t want to admit it to him self he was. “hot body” kooper4younge responds again before pichu had a chance to reply.
“thanks” Pichu answers back; really not knowing where to go from here. Pichu surely had no intention of going any further with this guy… idd he.
“you keen” kooper4younge replies. Pichu started getting butterfrees in his stomach or was it just straight up anxiety. Pichu decided to stretch out this back and forth as long as pokemonly possible. “hmmm maybe, I’m in olivine west”
kooper4youngers replies were now as fast as any physical conversation would be. “do you live alone” kooper4younge
Pichu knew full well that Ness and Lucas were out all weekend at the subspace emerssy but there was no way this dude was coming to his messy sharehouse. “I live with friends my rooms a mess tbh and I advent left bed” Pichu was beginning to be a real boner killer but kooper4younge was persistent. “I have a hotel in Olivine eat till tomorrow come?” “I have no money hmm let me think” Pichu attempted to drag it on as long as possible, somehow thinking his next move would KO this conversation and not max revive it Pichu sends another pic of him self laying in bed that he just took. kooper4younger at this point respond with his mind made up. “your hot come mmm” Show me more. Before Pichu can continue to procrastinate kooper4younger sends an upward picture of his entire naked shell cropped head and this time without the underwear barking a large coopers fallace. Pichu hated that he found this image arousing but shame was a real turn on for the electric mouse. Pichu who was the type to always give some one loose change or hold a door for a stranger felt abligided to reply with he same and sent the only picture of his cock he had saved to his favourites.
“damn” kooper4younger “come now”
“I have no money to get a pokecab” Pichu made one last attempt to shade his curiosity. “I’ll order one for u where do you live” Pichu took a moment of silence to him self, am i truly going to go trough with this, am I going to tarnish my track record that rests on the purity of having never engaged with this kind of thing. Only teasing him self on the concept never going through, receiving the nudes and blocking them, using washed up proles to pass the time between battles. Pichus euphoria was begingng to way down on him, he was so lost in thought that he missed another message.
“i’ll treat you real good we can just have a PP up and see how we go I’ve got plenty to drink here”
One last time fichu asks “why no face pic” “are you famous lol” Pichu showing of his humours side.
“you could say so “ you would respect my privacy wouldn’t you” Pichu would at least to the media but not to his friends irregardless he says “of course”
“what about it Mousey what’s your address I’ll get you a ride home too if that’s what you want”
Pichu waited a moment rubbing hs cheek pouches to expel some pent up electricity. Its’ now or never he thought to hime self. Maybe he did wanna ride.
“7 Lum Berry drive west Olivine” fuck fichu thought to him self what am I doing.
“booking now” kooper4younger replies fuck
should he pull out should or hide, what if he’s crazy fuck fuck. Pichu flics through the pictures he sent as if the texture of his skin will reveal some truth about his decency. As if no time had passed at all the wheels of a car roll up out side of his bedroom window. fuck, he looks out to the poke uber,, fuckkkkkk pichu sucking on his paw, pichu looks for his bag packing a wallet and some headphones as if he would need any of them but in the tension of the moment pichu panics and sits on his floor dizzy from the butterfrees in his stomach and alcohol filtering through his blood stream, the car waits out front with the motor humming, pichu looks at the mirror, some how his face wasn’t as pale and dry as he remembered, his moment of fluster had made his face pink and puffy and his lips perky he almost looked better then the day before. could he.
Pichus phone chimes “the car is out front are you coming” Pichu looks to the screen and sighs, he waits till the car door is shut before he replies “yep c u soon”
Peach sits adjustment to Daisy, the two have been best friends for years yet still have an ineptitude when it comes to being truly honest with each other, some unfortunate side effect of a lifetime in the aristocracy of the mushroom kingdom. Daisy withholds any formal judgements on Peach as if trying to preserve any last remaining sense of manners fit for royalty. Diasy understands well and truly why she received a letter from mr toadstool to meet on the lawn of Princess Peaches castle. Everyone had heard the rumours. Peach was going to abandon the castle.
Peach still in her formal pink princess outfit which had always been maintain to perfection was slightly altered, the trimming around the ankles had been cut to raise the dress length, her long white gloves had been replaced by finger less leather glove, she also wore combat boots in stead of pink heels and the ripples of her puffy pink chest were pined with anarchy symbols and the transgender flags.
DAISY: so the bow-wow has been extra aggressive lately hasn’t it.
moments pass in silence.
Daisy: when’s your next match, you’re up against captain falcon right on the Wario ware stage huh, that’s going to be a hoot.
More silence proceeds as peach fondels the grass.
Daisy: papa toad says your not enjoying your time in the kingdom anymore
Peach interrupts in the gentlest tone which daisy waiting for an opportunity for her to speak quickly goes silent to listen.
Peach: have your ever traverse the guilded painting portal in the locked room around the back of the castle
The painting portals are the main method of fast travel transportation in the mushroom kingdom, see painting jump in and you’ll be transported to that world.
Peach continues; I can show you if you want to go?
Daisy: is that where you want to go, through that portal, where does it lead?
Peach: umm (peach procrastinates for a moment) have you ever questioned how the toads assist and operate the whole castle and are completely unwaged?
Daisy looked baffled, firstly she didn’t understand the meaning of unwaged and secondly the toads have helped maintain the mushroom kingdom for generations and their standing with the mushroom kingdom thus far had been an unquestioned relationship.
daisy: I’m not quite sure i understand.
Peach: the toads work awful long hours without proper compensation
Daisy: they do get a few hours at night to make mushroom stew for them selves princess
Peach: or or that father restricted them from having a common room
Daisy: that as simply because we needed more space to store your piranha plant collection princess.
Peach looked up disgusted in what daisy had said and maybe a little in her self.
Peach: the way i see it it was, it was a plot to discourage the toads from immobilising a union to challenge the kingdom.
Daisy: Peach! what your suggesting is muteny the toads would never break our unity
Peach: perhaps they should revolt, i’m not abandoning the kingdom I am boycotting and protesting the treatment of the toad people and let me educate you daisy for one moment who do you think resided on this hill before we built this castle, before the 6 worlds were “united” before this monarchistic mess was implemented who was here, the toads daisy the toads. and how did we manifest this unity with the toads.
Daisy at least knows the answer this question it was in every textbook and the narrative of the kingdoms uprising was recycled multiple times in copies of the daily racoon.
Daisy: the chancellor has stated that the toads willingly formed an alliance to combat the attacks of the Kooper Kingdom.
Peach: that story only gets you so far, the conflict between our kingdoms starts with us, the point is the toads were here first and we second, even the coopers have a reason attack us, this is their native world.
Daisy: what are you saying peach, are you a Kooper apologist.
Peach: oh daisy how brainwashed u have become, you’re the apologist if anyone is. The war is senseless and you know it. Besides if the cooper kingdom wasn’t so investd in me for my ability to defeat King Kooper this senseless conflict wouldn’t even have occurred and to be honest sometimes I’m not even sure if I buy the story anymore my self.
Daisy: this is all because of Princess Zelda of Hyrule isn’t it, ever since she left Hyrule Castle she’s been mess I heard you two were out partying in New Pork City last weekend and and
Finally Daisy gets the point.
Daisy continues: are you two sleeping together, you know i don’t judge but we have customs to up hold this isn’t an act of diplomacy its childish
Peach: Oh finally I know what this is about, I would never have expected this from you my closest friend. and let me correct you now Shieks pronouns are he/him and he doesn’t go by Zelda anymore, he made a public statement about it, you liked the post I saw. you being bigoted.
Daisy: it has nothing about “his” transition and dont bully me because I forgot.
Peach: you were patronising him. he’s taught me more about systems within our monarchies then the councillor ever has.
Daisy: oh right he’s an activist now? dont you think its a bit rich (no pun intended” that a ethluent “princezzz” has the entailment to waltz out of his position of wealth and entitlement to go soul searching and marching in protests around the galaxy whenever he sees fit, others would kill for the opportunity to have that privilege.
Peach: like the Koopers like the toads of the mushroom kingdom? I think daisy you understand fundamentally what privilege is seeing how much of it you or I have. Come with me daisy come to the guilded painted portal. Shiek set it up just fo me it leads to a place where we can educate eachother and has a by donation break room with tea and biscuits.
Daisy: ew what is a donation
Peach: see ur still funny, think for ur self, we aren’t so different daisy we’re just a pallet swap away from being twins now come on, they’re doing a reading by Toad Chompsky on Anarchism in the Mushroom Kingdom post the smash games, at least we can educate our selves on why were even fighting in this game.
Daisy: zelda is there right?
Daisy: right sheik he’s there?
Daisy ponders on how she can get out of this situation, after thinking it over she contemplates the benefits of speaking to shiek face to face.
Peach: he might be yes he spends a lot of time in the group organising meet ups delegating readings. He is so different to who he was before he transitioned,
Peach looks curiously tilting her head as if to make daisy laugh at some personal in joke maybe neither of them can recall the origins of.
Peach: remember when we used to sneak through the portal painting to dire dire docks and scare Lakita off his cloud, come on daisy.
Daisy: omg fine! take me there. your not gonna turn into a man are you?
Peach: daisy u are a rude fucking bitch. and dont say any of this edge lord shit in front of the anarchy crossing collective its not ok like sometimes u try way to hard to be edgy.
Daisy: oh my god whatevaaaaaaaaaaa peach lets go to this terrorist meet up and get expelled form the kingdom already.
Peach: holy fuck balls daisy you re an actual lol. and pls dont honestly be transphobic around shiek I really…
Peach pauses for a moment.
Daisy: your really into him, hey?
Peach: yeah lol i guess I am
Daisy: when’s the last time you saw her no “HIM”.
Peach: umm we texted yesterday
They continue down the sandy path toward the back end of the castle, strolling casually as not to draw attention from any villagers working around the mushroom kingdom grounds.
Daisy: I feel like you haven’t really left the castle in a while.
Peach: mm yeah we haven’t hung out in a while but you know like it’s not just about him anyway, I am really engaged in these meetings for my self too, like the politics are really important to me and I believe in them and if leaving the castle to travel along side shiek or the anarchy crossing collective would teach me more about politics then i would, haven’t we both wanted an excuse to travel besides to go off to stadiums battling each other or entering mini golf tournaments?
Daisy looks at peach with some concern but decides to see this to the end.
Daisy: Point taken
They finally reach the back end of the castle, peach gestures to section of the castle wall that has a large wooden door with steel bolts and chains securing the entrance though it was only superficial, Daisy may have seen this door a 1000 times but never thought anything of it, the helps stable room, an old janitors closet maybe a pathway toward the mote. Peach moves the old wooden door frame to the side revealing a pristine gold rimmed frame supporting a large painting of an small grey carpeted space with several white chairs a snack table and a small bookshelf stocked with magazines and books and a hang in there poster.
Daisy: well that looks drab peach.
Peach gestures to the painting and brushes it with her fingers, the portal painting responds and the image ripples like water in a pond.
Peach: let’s go we’re late anyway.
They step into the frame and vanish to the other side.
They materialise within the Grey carpeted room which revealed it’s self to be a community centre gauging form the fire escape signs and time table for upcoming local events although Daisy couldn’t make out the location and Peach wasn’t interested in explaining those details, immediately her attention was on everything else in the space except Daisy, her eyes flickering across the room hunting for any sign of her desires. She spots Shiek up against the wall with his hands gesturing to Samus vigilante and pirate, Samus brushes her hands along sheiks blond fringe which makes Peach uncomfortable. The meeting was already over by now and only the Villagers and Ice climbers were left sitting around in a circle on white plastic chairs. Whatever it was they’re planning was inaudible to Peach, Daisy could sense the tension emanating from peach.
Daisy: umm Peach I think we should go; it looks like we missed it. Peach?
Peach was now fully consumed by what she can see across the room before Sheik notices her staring back.
Shiek: Peach ohh hey how are you?
Peach does her best to act oblivious to what she saw.
Peach: good how are you Shiek?
Peach reaches over to kiss Shiek, the kiss was not like the kisses she expected from shiek, much too fast and restrained then before and Peach wasn’t able to reconcile in that moment whether the lack lustre embrace was in her mind or an act of frigidness. She hadn’t seen shiek in a few weeks, she hadn’t even properly had a discussion on their relationship status but that time they spent together in lake Hylia and conversing in the room they stood in weeks before was in her mind an unspoken and mutual agreement.
They stood together and shared a moment of silence that felt like it lasted for hours. Daisy looks across the room to a pile of zines.
Daisy: Im just gonna hop over here for a moment hehe
Peach: umm so how did the meeting go?
Shiek: good good we were planning our demonstration to show our support for unwaged Toadstool folk.
Peach: oh right sorry I missed it I had to have a big talk with Daisy and I didn’t wanna text you or bother you before the meeting.
Shiek: oh it’s all good we pretty much covered everything we needed to umm what else have you been up to,
The small talk was like razor blades in Peaches brain, she couldn’t believe what they had become reduced to. Was this the same Shiek she fucked on the sand dunes of Termina Beach; who she’s supported through his transition or evaded arrest during protests in the Metro Kingdom. She bites the bullet.
Peach: has Samus been in Anarchy Crossing Collective for long, I haven’t seen her here before, i actually haven’t seen her in ages she looks like she’s got a new suit.
They share a moment of everlasting silence.
Shiek: Look I should have told you before hand and I am sorry but while you were addressing your personal issues over at the mushroom kingdom I started seeing Samus and I kinda feel like I’m really enjoying exploring where this is going, I should have told you earlier but it was so early. I mean you said you were polyamorous when we met and it just sort of happened naturally. It doesn’t mean we can’t still see each other I mean, are you ok?
Peach was feeling dizzy ti wasn’t what she expected, she looks over to Daisy her eyes doing everything they can to focus on something else to stay sane but suddenly the text over the zine daisy was holding up started to fade, titles like resisting arrest and a guide to stoned vegan cooking started melting away and her vision was going blurred.
Peach: that’s ok SHiek, totally I was thinking the same thing umm really actually haha thank you, thank you for sharing that with me I’m glad to know and yep that’s a lot to process now so ha maybe i’ll just have a think but yep thank you hahaa.
Peach walks across the room passing Samus who sheepishly looked toward the rooms grey carpet. She catches her reflection in the window toward the back of the room. Suddenly she didn’t recognise her self any longer. Popo of the ice climbers walks over to peach oblivious to her condition or the discussion that just took place and uses his delicate and speechless body language motioning to a pile of flyers that peach quickly recalls agreeing to distributing around the mushroom kingdom. She retrieves the flyers and finds daisy’s hand. Daisy who had been wilfully unengaged with a Zine on Luigi’s billion dollar Mansion and the re-distribution of wealth among the mushroom 500.
Peach: time to go Daisy hey, we are gonna hand out some flyers it’ll be fun come on.
Peach makes her way back toward the painting.
Sheik looks back to her.
Sheik: hey I’ll text you tomorrow?
Peach: Defs! can’t wait Shiek.
Peach blows Shiek a signature kiss that was so over rehearsed through her years of nobility no one would ahve guessed the state of her internal anxiety.
They warp through he painting and on the other side they say nothing, Daisy could have said said I told you so at any time but she didn’t, Sheik was 5 years younger then her and an anarchist of course it wasn’t going to work out. The 2 walk toward the castle together in silence, peach caressing the flyers against her chest unsure whether they were going to be distributed or destroyed.
Lei Lei Kung & Sarah McCauley
I would not trade right now for 2002. I would not trade 2017 for 2002.
I would not trade 2016 for 2002 nor 2003 for 2002 nor 2014 for 2002.
I would not trade 2011 or 2012 or 2013 for 2002. I would not trade
2015 for 2002. I would not trade 2004 or 5 for 2002. I would ruminate
on 2008 for very personal reasons but I would not trade that year for
2002. I would not trade 2006 for 2002. I donʼt think i would trade
2016 for 2002. 2007 and 2009 I would not trade for 2002 and I hope
I never have a year that I would trade for 2002 although I know I will.
What works for you may not work for me
and vice versa and such and such
Building sites can be ancient ruins too
But what I wanna say what I really wanna say is is that architecture is
not a final place
and strength is a matter of ignoring the facts
And when I say jump
To be clear I can be up here too
The podium is a place for the weather
And she was only a girl I knew
You say this is not a final place
you have a point
I have for the most part been forgotten and this does not make me
line 3 was curated by ben sendy-smithers, ruby lee and daniel ward